One night of puzzles

By Ken Boucher

(the American:)
My room. Pure geek setting
And the coder don't know that the coder is getting
The worst damn puzzle in the chess world.
One that can't even be solved by Yul Brunner.

Time flies – doesn't seem an hour
Been working on this puzzle, haven't even had a shower
No hope – don't you know that when you
work on this puzzle you need more than a small clue

It's an exposed check... or a castle... or a fools mate... or... or ... I don't know!

(Slashdot:)
One night of puzzles makes a hard man humble
Checkmate in six moves but the man says five
The knight moves slowly and I don't see a castle
No matter what I do, the king survives
Solving this dang puzzle just might take my life.

(The American:)
One move is very like another
Neither gets me closer to a quick kill brother

(Slashdot:)
It's a pain, it's a challenge, it's really such a pity
That you're trying to solve it since your rank's so shi77y.

(The American:)
Whaddya mean? You shoulda seen me in high school you rotton S.O.B.s!

(Slashdot:)
Linux, Brute force, need a hack.
This is worse than a Cal-tech Stack.

(The American:)
Get real! You're talking to a slacker
It's been too long since I was a hacker.
I get my kicks from coding legos, Slashdot!

(Slashdot:)
One night of puzzles makes a hard man humble
Checkmate in six moves but the man says five
The knight moves slowly and I don't see a castle
No matter what I do, the king survives
I can't solve this puzzle. I should ask my wife.

(The American:)
Slashdot's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
unfair patent or bogus lawsuit

And thank god I'm only submitting a reply, not moderating it.

I don't see you guys getting
The kind of Karma I'm contemplating
I'd like to brag, if just to spite you
If I could find a solution on Yahoo.

So you better go back to your linux machines, your hacks, your compilers.

(Slashdot:)
One lousy puzzle and you're drinking vodka
The puzzle's locked inside your brain
It's like some bizarre scene from Kafka
And even whiskey wouldn't dull the pain.
This simple puzzle has driven you insane

One night of puzzles makes a hard man humble
Checkmate in six moves but the man says five
The knight moves slowly and I don't see a castle
No matter what I do, the king survives
Solving this dang puzzle just might take my life.

Apologies to Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus, both of ABBA fame, and renown lyricist Tim Rice.